Cinema Narcs Live: “Mars Needs Women” (1968)
Posted by Andrew on June 17, 2011MOVIE – “Mars Needs Women”
DIRECTOR - Larry Buchanan
WRITERS – Larry Buchanan
SIX DEGREES OF CAST & CREW
- The “Land of the Giants” connection continues, as “Mars Needs Women” star Yvonne Craig did an episode back in 1970.
- Warren Hamm can be seen in one of my favourite MST3K Experiments, “The Eye Creatures” (1965).
- Speaking of MST3K and “The Eye Creatures”, also see-able therein is “Mars Needs Women” actor Tony Huston, who also (supposedly) wrote the screenplay for the MST3K-ified “The Hellcats”. Who else was in that? WARREN HAMM.
- Why stop the “Eye Creatures” loveliest? Bill Thurman, Gordon Bulow, George Edgley, Chet Davis, Donna Lindberg and Larry Tanner were in that, too!
- But back to Tony Huston, though. He and “Mars Needs Woman” actors Roger Ready, Bill Thurman, Patrick Cranshaw and Cal Duggan were all in 1966′s “Curse of the Swamp Creature”, along with MST3K favourite, John Agar!
- Look for Pat Delaney in 1974′s MST3K groan-fest, “The Bat People”.
- The awesomely named Byron Lord is viewable in 1967′s “Night Fright”, along with names you should have memorized by now (as I sure the hell have) like Bill Thurman, Roger Ready, and the mighty John Agar.
- There’s this other movie called “In The Year 2889″ (made in 1967, DEAL WITH IT.). In it you can find Neil Fletcher, Byron Lord, Bill Thurman, and “Village of the Giants” actress Charla Doherty.
- Alright, let’s just get this over with. In 1966 there was a made-for-TV movie called “Zontar : The Thing From Venus”. Who all were in that? The previously mentioned John Agar, “Mars Needs Women” alumni Tony Huston, Pat Delaney, Warran Hammack, Bill Thurman, Roger Ready, George Edgley, Bill Thurman, “Eye Creatures” and MST3K’d “The Amazing Transparent Man” (1960) actor Jonathan Ledford, “Curse of the Swamp Creatures” actor Jeff Alexander, and “Night Fright” actress Carol Gilley.
- So what do “The Eye Creatures”, “Zontar : The Thing From Venus”, “Curse of the Swamp Creature”, “Mars Needs Women”, and “In The Year 2889″ all have in common? Directed by Larry Buchanan, thank you very MUCH.
- Composer Ronald Stein is uncredited for his work on “Mars Needs Women”. MST3K classics like “Gunslinger” (1956), “It Conquered The World” (1956), “The She Creature” (1956), “The Undead” (1957), “The Girl In Lovers Lane” (1960), “The Eye Creatures” (1965), “Zontar : The Thing From Venus” (1966), “Curse of the Swamp Creature” (1966), and of course the first of tonight’s marathon…”Attack of the 50 Foot Woman” (1958). Most of these are of course product of the immortal Roger Corman, with whom Stein worked with on many other projects, credited or no.
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Andrew-00.33
Alright, we’re rolling into our fourth movie of the night, and both Ron and I are feeling the bedbugs a-nibblin’. WE SHALL BE STRONG.
Ron-00.34
“Honey, there’s something wrong with this c antelope on our table; I’m going to go complain while you take a random shower.”
Andrew-00.37
Wait, didn’t he just say the message was SIX words? Oh lord, the inconsistencies have begun already… and now you’re playing “Simon”!
Ron-00.37
What else does Mars need? Possibly therapy. A vacuum cleaner. Lots and lots of water. Oh, and new carpet.
Andrew-00.41
“And here gentlemen we have enough computers to play Pink Floyd’s “The Dark Side Of The Moon” on infinite loop.”
Ron-00.43
“Our craft is small, but it’s not the size of the craft that counts, it’s how you abduct with it.”
Andrew-00.45
Despite a presumably goofy title and premise, there’s a very stiff, stark, crisp quality to everything in this movie. I am… intrigued.
Ron-00.46
I think this movie’s saving grace will be its unflinching posture. It simply refuses to wink at the audience and acknowledge how dumb it is.
Andrew-00.49
I don’t think this film will cease beating us over the head with stock airplane footage until we BOW TO THE AMERICAN AIR FORCE’s SUPERIORITY.
Ron-00.50
I love the constant shots of the megaphones, as if to remind us that they’re listening to a loudspeaker broadcast.
Andrew-00.50
That loudspeaker is about as exciting to watch as the Monday Night Raw Anonymous G.M.’s podium laptop…
Ron-00.58
This music keeps getting inappropriately wacky, when it doesn’t sound like something Philip Glass composed.
Andrew-00.58
If anything has tied tonight’s movies together, it’s at least one sequence of shooting day-for-night.
Ron-01.04
The movie featured on the marquee seen just a few minutes ago is called “The Fortune Cookie.” When you consider it’s Lemmon and Matthau, you have to wonder why they’d feature it in a movie as bad as this one?
Ron-01.11
Little-known fact: Martians love the theremin, and bring one with them on every rape mission to other planets.
Ron-01.14
For some reason, this movie’s color scheme and style is reminding me of the good episodes of Get Smart.
Andrew-01.17
Meanwhile, the redhead from earlier is actually getting somewhere… and the results are not pleasant.
Andrew-01.18
Probably not an actress in any traditional sense, but STILL she out-emotes Zsa-Zsa Gabor.
Ron-01.20
Things were way different before feminism; these movies make that abundantly clear. For example, before feminism, I could talk about what a science-babe Yvonne Craig is.