Cinema Narcs

So, do you want an epic trailer, or do you want an epic trailer?  In 2006, director Timo Vuorensola had an idea for a science fiction film, and over the course of two years, he and his cast and crew pooled their own money, shot a trailer for their movie, and took it to the Cannes Film Festival in an attempt to bring their idea to life.  Well, it’s taken the better part of six years, but that vision has become a reality. That vision, ladies and gentlemen, is “Iron Sky,” and it is one of the absolute best trailers I have ever seen.  Just watch this and tell me it doesn’t look like the best thing ever.

Here’s the movie’s synopsis, as stolen from the UK’s Starburst Magazine:

Towards the end of World War II the Nazi scientists made a significant breakthrough in anti-gravity. From a secret base built in the Antarctic, the first Nazi spaceships were launched in late ‘45 to found the military base Schwarze Sonne (Black Sun) on the dark side of the Moon. This base was to build a powerful invasion fleet and return to take over the Earth once the time was right.

Now it’s 2018, and it’s the time for the first American Moon landing since the 70s. Meanwhile the Nazi invasion, that has been over 70 years in the making, is on its way, and the world is goose-stepping towards its doom.

“Iron Sky” will be released on April 4 2012 in Finland, the UK, and Germany.  The debut will take place at the Berlin International Film Festival on February 11, 2012.

Tags: 2012, cannes, iron sky, movie trailers, nazis, nazis on the moon, science fiction, space, Timo Vuorensola, trailer snitch, trailers, war

MOVIE - “The Family” AKA “Violent City”

DIRECTOR – Sergio Sollima

WRITERS – Massimo De Rita, Dino Maiuri (story ); Gianfranco Calligarich, Sauro Scavolini, Sergio Sollima, and Lina Wertmuller (screenplay)

SIX DEGREES OF CAST & CREW

‑This movie has been released multiple times in the United States alone.  In 1970, it was released as Violent City, the translated Italian title.  In 1973, the movie was edited and rereleased as The Family in an attempt to piggyback onto the organized crime craze kicked off by The Godfather a year earlier.  To further complicate matters, the 1973 release by United Artists cut 8 minutes from the film.  On the DVD release, the 8 restored minutes were never dubbed back into English, so are presented in Italian with subtitles.  Speaking of subtitles, Bronson was born to Lithuanian parents and, as a child, only spoke Polish; he didn’t learn English until he was a teenager.  Bronson’s Polish language skills and his claustrophobia were both on display in The Great Escape, in which Bronson plays a Polish POW nicknamed The Tunnel King due to his claustrophobia.

‑This is a movie of connections.  It is the third and final pairing of Telly Savalas and Charles Bronson (the others being Battle of the Bulge and The Dirty Dozen).  It’s also one of the first of the 14 pairings of Jill Ireland and Charles Bronson.  Bronson first met Ireland in 1962, when she was married to Bronson’s The Great Escape co-star David McCallum.  Upon meeting her, Bronson told McCallum, “I’m going to marry your wife.”  The two married in 1968 and maintained a large and inseparable family until her death from breast cancer in 1990.

‑In 1963‑64, Bronson played Linc on the TV series The Travels of Jaimie McPheeters, alongside 12‑year‑old Kurt Russell.  In 1981, Bronson was passed over for the role of Snake Plissken in favor of not-12-year-old Kurt Russell.  The reason?  Bronson looked too tough for the role.  Given that Bronson was an aerial gunner on a B-29 Superfortress and earned a Purple Heart in WWII and that Bronson worked in a coal mine from age 10 (becoming claustrophobic in the process; see Six Degrees entry 1) until 22 (when he escaped the coal mines by going to war), that’s probably a fair charge to level against the man.

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Tags: 1970, 3/5, action, charles bronson, crime, Dino Maiuri, Gianfranco Calligarich, Italy, jill ireland, Lina Wertmuller, Massimo De Rita, poliziotteschi, Sauro Scavolini, sergio sollima, telly savalas, the family, violent city

It’s Friday, Friday… Friday the 13th, and do you know what that means, cats and kittens?  That means it’s time for a little fun, Voorhees-style!

When it comes to the Friday the 13th movies, if you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all.  Aside from the first one and Jason X, I mean; those two are the precursor to and big break from the formula.  All of the others, even VII with the psychic and VIII with Jason rampaging through the streets of New York like polio in the 19th Century.  They’re simple, and they’re fun.  Jason sees kids drinking, smoking, and screwing in his woods, and he doesn’t like it.  There’s stabbings, impalings, bashings, hookings, and all manner of impalement, but first, the obligatory chase through the woods!

For Jason’s best moments, the Friday the 13th video game, a rare appearance on Arsenio Hall, and miles upon miles of dead bodies, check below the cut.

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Tags: arsenio hall, benny hill, best friday the 13th kills, camp crystal lake, cinemassacre, friday the 13th, friday the 13th movies, funny videos, jason, jason voorhees, kane hodder, mash-ups, slasher movies, viral infection, viral videos, youtube

MOVIE - “TheFoot Fist Way”

DIRECTOR – Jody Hill

WRITER – Jody Hill, Ben Best, and Danny McBride

SIX DEGREES OF CAST & CREW

‑The title of this movie, The Foot Fist Way, is a literal translation of the phrase tae kwon do from Korean into English.  Director Jody Hill is a third-degree black belt in tae kwon do.  Indeed, all the TKD practitioners in the movie who aren’t Danny McBride and Ben Best are real tae kwon do students.

‑The favorite restaurant of Fred Simmons (Danny McBride) in this film is a little place called Captain Orlander’s.  In the movie Observe & Report, Charlie (Jesse Plemons) works at a restaurant called Captain Orlander’s.  Both were directed by Jody Hill.

‑One of the targets of Fred’s mocking is a guy called The Gentle Warrior.  In the movie, he is played by Randy Gambill.  Randy Gambill would reappear as the flasher Seth Rogen’s mall cop is forced to hunt down in Observe & Report.  Unfortunately for him, and the world at large, he’s the sort of actor who gives his all—and bares his all—for his art.

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Tags: 2006, 3/5, ben best, carlos lopez iv, chuck the truck, chuck the truck wallace, comedy, comedy films, danny mcbride, fred simmons, jody hill, martial arts, martial arts comedies, mary jane bostic, movie reviews, spencer moreno, the foot fist way, the foot fist way review

MOVIE : “Razorback” (1984)
DIRECTOR : Russell Mulcahy
WRITERS : Peter Brennan (original novel), Everett De Roche (for screen)

SIX DEGREES OF CAST & CREW

- If you’re wondering why there’s a Duran Duran song in the soundtrack, it’s because director Russell Mulcahy did a pig-ton of their music videos. Also, “Highlander” (1986).

- Star Gregory Harrison recurred as Dr. George Alonzo Gates on the old “Trapper John, MD” series. Someone who bit-part’ed that show was Timothy Stack, who could also be seen in the “Starman” series. Also seen in THAT series was blaxploitation actor Raymond St. Jacques, along with… “Razorback” star, Judy Morris!

- Actress Arkie Whiteley sadly passed away in December of 2001. Some years earlier she was in 1994′s “Princess Caraboo”, along with a young Dougray Scott. Dougray would later do an episode of the “Highlander” TV series, as was spun off from the films initiated by director Russell Mulcahy!

- Actor Chris Haywood can be seen in 1982′s “Attack Force Z”, along with Mel Gibson. Mel had one year earlier been in “Mad Max 2″, along with the late Arkie Whiteley.

- Actor David Argue is found in “BMX Bandits” (1983), a film more famous for featuring a young Nicole Kidman. Seek ye Ms. Kidman in 1988′s “Emerald City”, alongside “Razorback” actors Chris Hession and… Chris Haywood!

- And finally, Chris Hession can be found in the regrettable “The Punisher” of 1989. An uncredited part in that “film” goes to the awesome Brendan Gleeson, later seen in 2000′s “Mission: Impossible 2″, with lead villain Dougray Scott!

This isn't the VHS artwork of my copy, but I had to include it because it looks like the boar's manning the rifle.

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Tags: 1984, 3.5/5, arkie whiteley, chris haywood, chris hession, david argue, everett de roche, gregory harrison, monster boars, monster movies, movie reviews, razorback, razorback review, russell mulcahy

MOVIE - “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo”

DIRECTOR – David Fincher

WRITER – Steven Zaillian

SIX DEGREES OF CAST & CREW

‑Rooney Mara, who plays Lisbeth Salander, proved herself to be dedicated to her role. No, she didn’t get actual tattoos—those are all fake.  What she did do was go out and get four piercings in her ears, an eyebrow bar, and really pierce her nipple.  She also dyed her hair, got that Salander haircut, and bleached her eyebrows to look extra weird.

‑Speaking of Rooney Mara, she’s the latest in a pretty famous pair of families.  Her sister, Kate Mara, is also an actress (the two worked together in Urban Legends: Bloody Mary).  Meanwhile, her great grandfather (on her mother’s side) Art Rooney was the founder of the Pittsburgh Steelers NFL team and her great grandfather (on her father’s side) Tim Mara was the founder of the New York Giants.  So, basically, she’s what happens when two families of billionaires mingle bloodlines.

‑During a diner scene, Mikael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig) has a brief conversation with a waitress.  The name of that waitress is Ellen Nyqvist; her father Michael Nyqvist played Mikael Blomkvist in the Swedish version of Dragon Tattoo.  It just so happened that Ellen was working as a waitress in that diner while attending school, so Fincher and company drafted her into the production and gave her a few lines.

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Tags: 2011, 4/5, christopher plummer, daniel craig, david fincher, drama, lisbeth salander, mikael blomkvist, mysteries, remake of the girl with the dragon tattoo, remakes, rooney mara, stellan skarsgard, steven zaillian, stieg larsson, the girl with the dragon tattoo, thrillers

MOVIE - “Miracle Mile”

DIRECTOR – Steve De Jarnatt

WRITER – Steve De Jarnatt

SIX DEGREES OF CAST & CREW

‑Everyone knows who star Anthony Edwards is.  He’s that guy from ER who didn’t have hair.  More importantly than that, he’s a superstar of the 80’s, taking on such iconic roles as Goose in Top Gun and Gilbert in Revenge of the Nerds (I had no idea that was him!).  He was also Edward Furlong’s father in Pet Sematary II before going on to hunt for the Zodiac killer in David Fincher’s Zodiac.  He’s a reverse George Clooney; a big star in the 80’s whose career was sidetracked by ER, not a failing B-movie actor whose career was launched by ER.

‑Speaking of ER, Miracle Mile love interest Mare Winningham was also on ER for the 1998‑99 season (the season in which Miracle Mile director Steve De Jarnatt did two episodes).  Mare was also the love interest in Turner & Hooch with Tom Hanks; Miracle Mile co-star Mykelti Williamson would also team up with Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump (Mykelti Williamson played Bubba) and George Clooney in Three Kings.

‑However, when it comes to epic co-stars, no one in the movie can match Robert DoQui. Not only did he play a pimp in Coffy with Pam Grier, he also co-starred with the one and only RoboCob (as Sgt. Reed, the guy in charge of the station that gets RoboCop).  He was also on ER and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.  Co-star Denise Crosby was only on TNG;Crosbywas on The Adventures of Brisco County Jr., which means she and Lou Hancock (who plays grandma Lucy Peters and was Henrietta Knowby in Evil Dead II) have both worked with Brice Campbell (who was in The Ladykillers with, you guessed it, TOM HANKS).

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Tags: 1988, 4/5, anthony edwards, cold war, cold war movies, john agar, lou williams, mare winningham, miracle mile, miracle mile movie review, miracle mile review, nuclear bomb movies, nuclear war, nuclear war movies, robert doqui, steve de jarnatt

MOVIE - “Battlespace”

DIRECTOR – Neil Johnson

WRITER – Neil Johnson

SIX DEGREES OF CAST & CREW

‑Iva Franks Singer, who plays The Watcher, has a long career of interesting bit parts in movies.  She appears in Heat, Bordello of Blood, and Jerry Maguire; unfortunately, all of those roles are cameos or walk-ons, as a waitress, a werewolf, and an airplane passenger. She did do a couple of episodes of the late, lamented Space: Above and Beyond, as well as a couple episodes ofLas Vegas. She will be best known to stoners and absurdists as Lynn Cinco from Tim And Eric Awesome Show Great Job.

‑Director/writer Neil Johnson has directed an impressive 15 films.  Three of them are called Hell on Earth (III, IV, and V) and three more of them are about the long-running epic metal band Manowar.  From what I can tell, no one in Manowar is in this movie, but I could be wrong!

‑One of the interesting things about this movie is who it cribs from.  The weapons are the pulse rifles from Aliens; the noise the weapons make is one of the most famous sounds in the world—the blaster sounds from Star Wars.  Unfortunately, they don’t use a Wilhelm Scream.

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Tags: 2006, 4/5, battlespace, battlespace movie review, battlespace review, blake edgerton, eve connelly, full movies on youtube, iva franks singer, movie reviews, neil johnson, post apocalyptic, sci-fi, science fiction, space, streaming movies on youtube, youtube

MOVIE - “Bloodlust: Subspecies III”

DIRECTOR – Ted Nicolaou

WRITERS – Ted Nicolaou

SIX DEGREES OF CAST & CREW

- Ion Haiduc was a longtime favorite of the Full Moon people circa 1993-1996.  He appeared in an impressive 10 Full Moon productions shot in Romania, probably because he could speak English well enough to be understood by Americans.  He also appears in Romanian movies; apparently, Romania has a film industry now.

- Subspecies III was shot back-to-back with “Subspecies II” and used much of the same crew.  Wait, this isn’t an interesting factoid… what’s the word I’m looking for?  Oh yeah, cheap.  This is cheap.

- Actor Michael Della Femina has the nickname Scrap Packer.  Your guess is as good as mine as to what it means; what I can tell you is Della Femina appeared in “Mandroid” with Ion Haiduc before slumming it with Robert DeNiro and Frances McDormand in “City By The Sea.”

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Tags: anders hove, bloodlust subspecies iii, charles band, denice, full moon pictures, ion haiduc, pamela gordon, radu, radu vladislas, subspecies, subspecies 3, Subspecies 3 bloodlust, subspecies 3 review, subspecies iii, vampires

MOVIE - “Bloodstone: Subspecies II”

DIRECTOR – Ted Nicolaou

WRITERS – Ted Nicolaou, Charles Band (idea)

SIX DEGREES OF CAST & CREW

- Do I even need to give you any information for Melanie Shatner, who plays Rebecca Morgan?  I mean, her last name is SHATNER, so you know she’s got to be the daughter ofCanada’s most famous starship captain, William Shatner.

- Kevin Spiritas, who plays helpful-ish American consulate employee Mel, has a background in horror.  He played Roy in “The Hills Have Eyes Part II” and Nick in “Friday the 13^th Part VII: The New Blood.”  Apparently, he likes to be in sequels.

- Norman Cabrera and Wayne Toth, the lead singer and guitar player for the heavy metal band featured in the club where Melissa finds her first kill as a vampire, are both special effects gurus.  They worked on the creature effects on this film, and both have gone on to work with Rick Baker, KNB FX, and other notable companies on a wide variety of big time movies.  Everyone’s got a beginning I guess.

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Tags: 1993, 3/5, anders hove, bloodstone, bloodstone subspecies II, charles band, denice duff, horror, kevin spiritas, melanie shatner, michael denish, movie reviews, norman caberera, pamela gordon, radu, subspecies 2, subspecies 2 review, subspecies II, ted nicolaou, vampire movies, vampires, wayne toth